Enjoying the ride

I can't believe how different this time around is...in a good way. In a GREAT way actually. I am LOVING this baby of mine. He is such a gorgeous, happy little thing and often brings tears to my eyes when we're gazing at eachother.

Often I have thought how I regret not enjoying Benjamin - at all. For 5 months I battled post-natal depression, although at the time I didn't know that was what I had. It sucked every bit of enjoyment out of life and out of being a mum. Couple that with him being a spirited baby who didn't sleep well. People around me were worried. I lost weight alarmingly fast. The difference now is like chalk and cheese. I still have my days, as every mum does, but deep down, I know it doesn't even compare.

I am thoroughly enjoying and so appreciating my one-on-one time with Esera. Thursdays and Fridays are our days. Big brother goes to day care and I breathe a sigh of relief. I can have a nap, I can stay in my PJs all day, I don't have to leave the house. Esera is a relaxed little chap who doesn't cry a lot and who I can leave under the play gym, unattended, for quite a while. I could never do that with Benjamin. He would demand attention within minutes.

People have commented that babies respond to your emotional state. Stressed mother = unsettled baby. To a degree this may be right but personality sure plays a big role too. Benjamin will be turbo-charged until he dies!

I love each of my boys for who they are. As I've said before, I wouldn't change a thing about Benjamin. He is special. But I am really glad Esera is who he is too.

Birth story #2

I started having period pain taype pains around 3 or 4pm on Sunday the 21 Feb. I told hubby I didn’t feel well and he took Benjamin to church while I rested at home. The period pains came and went until he was home around 7pm and were quite sore.

Once Benjamin was asleep, I said we should pack the bags – Benjamin’s and mine. Hubby said there was no rush but I wanted to get it done. By about 9pm we were packed and the pains were coming about every 10 minutes, although they were not too bad. I really wanted to last until morning as my midwife had a weekend off and I was going to get one of the other midwives who share the clinic with her if I had the baby during the night.

At 10pm I texted my family to say I thought I was in the early stages of labour and that I was going to try and get some sleep. At 11 pm I gave up that idea as the contractions were becoming more painful and I was unable to lie still. I started to pace the living room. I walk around when I’m in labour. Hubby was now up with me too and we were deciding whether to get hubby’s sister to come and pick Benjamin up. I wanted him to sleep as much as possible without disturbing him. Next time I'll think a little more about ME! By about 11.45/12am we decided to call the fill-in midwife as I was in a lot of pain and wanted to get my epidural. We also called hubby’s sister to come and get Benjamin.

As we waited for sister-in-law to arrive, the contractions were getting fiercer and I was crying out in pain. Benjamin woke up. We couldn’t decide whether to just get to hospital. At about 12.30 I called the midwife and told her I was going in. Hubby’s sister was still on her way so we decided to take Benjamin. I was really struggling now. Hubby packed the car, bundled Benjamin in and as I went back to get the night light for Benjamin, my waters broke, and I could feel the baby’s head coming!! We drove to the hospital as quickly as possible. It was now 12.45ish and the baby was coming. Fast! We arrived at the hospital and hubby went to the wrong entrance. We had to then drive back around to the front. Good one.

Once we were at the right entrance, the security guard loaded me into a wheelchair and took me to the delivery suite while hubby parked the car and got Benjamin. He had called his sister to meet us at the hospital when we were driving. We got to the reception and they confirmed my name. I told them I wanted my epidural. She said something to appease me that I can’t quite remember. My midwife then came running down the passage and the security guard wheeled me into my room. He asked if I wanted help onto the bed. I told him no and thanked him...yes even in my distress I have manners.

The midwife then came in and told me to kneel on the bed. I told her I wanted my epidural. She said something like “I know you do”. Hmmm. A minute later I asked if the anaesthetist was on their way. She said he was busy right now and would be along soon.

Then the baby’s head started to come out! I was freaking out. This was so different to when Benjamin was born and I had no idea what was going on. By this time hubby and Benjamin were with me and Benjamin stroked my head as I screamed. The midwife told me to push when I had the urge. “What urge?” I was thinking. All I could feel was pain. So I pushed and after about 3 pushes, the head was out. It was so sore! I remember telling hubby I didn’t want to do this anymore. The midwife said one more push and it’s finished so I pushed the shoulders out and Esera plopped onto the bed.

Arrival time at hospital room: 1.05am
Arrival of Esera: 1.15am

“He’s a whopper!” said the midwife. Nice. My “little” boy weighed 4.2kg or 9.45 lb. Definitely a whopper. And I had only one stitch. After the birth I felt exhilarated and could not believe the way it had gone. I was not traumatised or exhausted like after Benjamin’s birth. Thank you, God! I went to Birthcare shortly after this and stayed 2 nights, in a private room!! Yes! Thank you God once again. It was wonderfully restful. The whole experience was so much better than Benjamin's birth. I am so grateful.