Enjoying the ride

I can't believe how different this time around is...in a good way. In a GREAT way actually. I am LOVING this baby of mine. He is such a gorgeous, happy little thing and often brings tears to my eyes when we're gazing at eachother.

Often I have thought how I regret not enjoying Benjamin - at all. For 5 months I battled post-natal depression, although at the time I didn't know that was what I had. It sucked every bit of enjoyment out of life and out of being a mum. Couple that with him being a spirited baby who didn't sleep well. People around me were worried. I lost weight alarmingly fast. The difference now is like chalk and cheese. I still have my days, as every mum does, but deep down, I know it doesn't even compare.

I am thoroughly enjoying and so appreciating my one-on-one time with Esera. Thursdays and Fridays are our days. Big brother goes to day care and I breathe a sigh of relief. I can have a nap, I can stay in my PJs all day, I don't have to leave the house. Esera is a relaxed little chap who doesn't cry a lot and who I can leave under the play gym, unattended, for quite a while. I could never do that with Benjamin. He would demand attention within minutes.

People have commented that babies respond to your emotional state. Stressed mother = unsettled baby. To a degree this may be right but personality sure plays a big role too. Benjamin will be turbo-charged until he dies!

I love each of my boys for who they are. As I've said before, I wouldn't change a thing about Benjamin. He is special. But I am really glad Esera is who he is too.