I'm All In

I love Radio Rhema, a Christian radio station here in NZ. We, as a society, spend a lot of time in our cars, so I love being able to fill up on sound spiritual stuff as I go about my day. From Joyce Meyer's preaching to excerpts on marriage and parenting to good music.

Radio Rhema also showcases some great Christian Kiwi (NZ) artists, one of which is Cindy Ruakere. Her song "Here I come" describes what's been on my mind lately, and everything in me says "YEAH!" to the lyrics.

I have made some decisions lately that somehow took me a long time to make, even though now they're made, it wasn't that hard. It's time for me to stop running and not be afraid to give it go. I am the type of person that puts an incredible amount of expectation on myself to succeed at everything I do. Now that I've let that expectation go, I am free to enjoy what may come.

As the song says "If I'm all in then the dream is alive."

And what's even cooler about the artist is that she's not young. I have been having a "I'm nearly 30 and what have I done with my life" crisis lately. There is still lots of my life to live!!

Anyway, here is the song. It's good to dance to as well!

Pakistan

I sat in horror as I watched the images from Pakistan on Campbell Live a couple of nights ago. One third of the country is covered in water. Imagine the chaos! What got to me the most was that there is not much aid going in.

I wish I could do something. But right now, with hubby still looking for a job, we have to keep our little family afloat.

So you know what I did do? I prayed people like Oprah, and Angelina Jolie and people with money to spare would hear of these peoples' plight and do something. I felt a little silly but I didn't know what else to do. Prayer is doing something.

I can't wait for the season to begin when we can donate to the aid appeal and sponsor a child through World Vision or Tear Fund. Soon. It's coming soon.

Getting domesticated

This is a picture of a yummy banana loaf. And the best thing about it is that I baked it myself! Using this recipe that's pretty low in sugar and can be dairy free.

For those of you who know me well, this is pretty big. And lately I've added chocolate and carrot muffins, scones and choc chip biscuits to my repertoire. They all taste yum!

And great for the budget too. When we feel like running up the road for something sweet, I've taken to baking something instead. Good on me.

That darn S word!

Sleep, sleep, sleep. You seem to say that word a lot when you're a mom. Either talking about how your child is with it, what you're doing about it or how you need more of it. But I have some good news...for me anyway. And lots of sympathy for those who can't share in my joy.


My 6 month old baby boy is now sleeping 10 to 11 hours consistently at night without so much as a peep!!!! To say I am chuffed is an understatement. I was seriously beginning to wonder how I was going to survive. I guess we got to a place of sheer desperation. We were tired and not functioning well. My awesome friend and sister, Sammy, said that I need to be a little harder. Her words were a bit different to that but that's how we'll phrase that one for now.




I tried being hard with Benjamin and it did not work. I remember pacing up and down outside his room for hours while he screamed at night - for 2 nightmarish weeks! Trained experts said it should take 3 to 5 nights. They don't know Benjamin. And a month or so later, he reverted back to waking...so what WAS the point?


So anyway, we moved our bed into the lounge (we have a very small 2 bedroom unit) so we'd at least have wall between us and the crying. We began praying in his room before he went to sleep and praying together once he was asleep. After 4 nights his crying was down to about 10 minutes. By night 5 he slept 10 or 11 hours solid and so it has continued.



Day time is not so great and often he only has two cat naps. But that's ok! I am not complaining. I am more than not complaining: I am thankful. Grateful. Getting at least 6 solid hours of sleep every night is just I had hoped for. I am a new woman. Yeah!

I heart grommets

We got the call we had been waiting for on Thursday the 28th July around 1pm. Turbo was booked for grommets and adenoid removal the very next day, book in time, 7.30am. After (stupidly!!) deferring on his last surgery booking, I put myself on the short notice list so that I would be called if people cancelled. Hence, hardly any notice.

The night before was a night full of packing bags and lunches, praying and worrying (on my behalf). What worried me the most was not the actual procedure but the fact that he was not allowed a thing to eat or drink, including water from 5am. How was I going to explain to my 2 year old that he couldn't have any breakfast, let alone a sip of water? And the waiting without food at the hospital? Eeek! We avoided the breakfast issue by only getting him out of his cot 15 minutes before we left the house. We put clothes on him and soon after, we were on our way to Starship Hospital.


I also heart Starship Hospital. It is so good at catering to children's needs. Toys and ride on cars and books and dolls houses in every room. Turbo was in his element and food was the last thing on his mind. They even have dedicated 'play specialists' who are trained early childhood teachers whose role is to play with and distract children during painful procedures or checkups. Thankfully Turbo hasn't needed this but I saw one lady in action with a crying child, blowing bubbles all over the room.

At 8am Turbo was checked by a nurse for his weight. Shortly after we met with the aneathetist surgeon, and then with the surgeon himself, a young, buff Asian man whose sense of humour must have left him when he entered medical school and who talked only to Mr Samoa as if I didn't exist at all. Anway. I knew Turbo was in safe hands and we understood all that was going to happen.

At about 8.50 we were ushered into the pre-op waiting room (complete with another whole new set of toys to keep Turbo busy) and Hubby changed into his cap and gown for the theatre. At 9.30 I watched my little boy walk hand in hand with his Daddy down the hall and turn left into the operating theatre. My heart was a little sore at that point.

Back to the first waiting room we went, after skoffing some food in the hallway...you can't eat in any of the waiting rooms for obvious reasons. Less than half an hour later it was finished and the surgeon reported that it had gone well. There was indeed think mucous sitting in his ear drum (glue ear) waiting to fester again and again. And his adenoids were a 'moderate size' but also contributing to his constant upper respiratory sickness.

Soon after he woke up, howling, but as soon as he was in his Daddy's arms, he dozed on and off for the next 2 hours as we made ourselves comfortable in a recovery room. We made friends with a Tongan family who knew our old pastor, ate lots of food, and before we knew it, we were home. Turbo was given an array of medicines and some ear drops. After a talking to from a nurse at Starship about not putting medicine in his milk (we've done this for ages because we could never get it down him) we gave it a go with a syringe straight into his mouth and he was fine! We were amazed. And he took several doses, several times a day by syringe for the next week or so. He is growing up and surprising us every day.

My sister whose son had grommets a year or so ago said the pain and crying would kick in on day 2. So we prepared for it with bated breath. It never came. Looking at Turbo, you would never have known he had just been in hospital. And darn it, I even kept him home from daycare.

So he is the healthiest he has been in a long, long time. I haven't used a tissue on his nose in about 5 days. It is bone dry. Amazing! I am so glad and thankful we had them done, and that the whole experience was a good one. We prayed and God answered. Isn't He good?

Who would have thought?

As I sit here writing I am smiling, in the ironic kind of way. My title refers to the fact that who would have thought Esera's sleep could get any worse than Benjamin's was? I mean, we struggled and struggled and cried and prayed with Benjamin. Through 15 gruelling months until HE decided he would sleep through the night.

"Well it has to be better than Benjamin" I always assured myself. Until when Esera was 3 months old, he went from sleeping 6, sometimes 7 hour stretches at night, to waking 2 hourly, sometimes hourly at night in just a few weeks. WHAT THE HECK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The past 3 nights he has slept better, doing 5 hour stretches once again. He is now 5 and a half months old. Can you believe I actually survived the last months?! I am pinching myself right now. Yes it is me. I am here. Just.

But in the midst of all of this, I found myself still enjoying life, still enjoying my baby and my bigger baby boy. How awesome is that! Yes there were days I almost lost it, but they were fewer rather than more. I know I am not using my best English skills but frankly this is all I can manage. And that's that : )