Then we came home

Once we were at home, I expected things to settle down nicely. A good friend that had visited me at the post-natal care place had given me some advice on how to put my baby in a routine. Routine! That must be the “right” way then if that was what had worked for my friend, who was at the time, an awesome mother of three children. But then the battles with Benjamin began. These battles were, in some form or another, to

be a part of my daily life. Benjamin was a very persistent, determined and strong-willed baby. A spirited baby.

I battled to get him to sleep. I wanted him to be able to settle himself to sleep from an early age. He cried a lot. My midwife advised we see a paediatrician. I had my suspicions that nothing was actually wrong with him. But we went and were prescribed some drugs for reflux. We never actually managed to get any of the medicine down his throat. What Benjamin doesn’t want to eat, he won’t...unless it’s very cleverly disguised (something I’ve become an expert at!).

For 5 months I battled, taking lots of advice along the way from books, help lines, the internet and well-meaning mothers. I tried every trick in the book, did everything “right” (there’s that word again) and still Benjamin took cat naps during the day and woke at least 3 times a night. I was stressed and not enjoying motherhood, let alone my gorgeous baby. I’m pretty sure I was mildly post-natally depressed too, although I was never diagnosed. Close friends and family worried a lot about me during that time.

At about 5 and a half months, things began to settle down a little, quite unexpectedly and without me doing anything differently. Imagine how much more I would have enjoyed the journey if had just enjoyed my baby and gone with the flow a bit more until he settled down. Retrospect is fine and dandy...but it doesn’t change a thing. Bottom line is I’ve learned a heck of a lot and can now be grateful for being able to walk through it all.