Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Get me outta here!

Yip, been a heck of a day.
A day where everything your kids do annoys you.
Where you overreact to small things and your emotions have a life of their own. Just can't seem to control them - especially the anger.

When Turbo tipped the contents of his potty onto the floor next to the toilet in his bid to help me, I knew he was doing his best. I knew, but I couldn't help myself. I yelled and shoved gently moved him towards the door.

And when he resisted my attempts to brush his teeth for the thousandth time, I threw the toothbrush at the mirror and locked myself in my bedroom for a couple of minutes. The alternative would not have been nice.

I won't even go into my frustration with Smiley. Super cling-on boy!!!

And for me, a usually level-headed and relatively calm person, this behaviour is disconcerting me. There could be a few explanations.

1. I'm so freakin tired...from waking up at night, from the full on demands of having a 2 year old and an 8 month old, both active and never still, from cooking and cleaning and washing over and over again
2. This season has been extremely taxing in every way for 5 long years. Sure it's nearly over, but it isn't just yet.
3. Ummm, I don't have any more reasons but I feel there should be a third

Did you know (I'm sure you all do) that financial pressure of one of the main reasons couples divorce? Not that we've ever come close, but we've been under quite extreme financial pressure for a long time.

Yeah, ok, I know there are people much worse off.

On days like today I end up thinking "Get me outta here!".

But no-one answers my cry and I can't leave, so....
you just carry on.
Getting more and more frazzled as the day goes on.

Today's only saving grace was an hour and a half respite at coffee group this morning. We went to a cafe run by another church where they look after your kids while you have cake and coffee for only $4!
Got to hang out with two lovely woman and forget my woes for a while.

Sorry for the pitiful post. I will rally and be ok tomorrow.

Has anyone had a day like this recently? I'd love to know I'm not alone


Nikkey said...

Heck YES!!! Funny enough today was a day like that too - battled to hold onto my temper the whole day and then ended the day with my little one "posting" his new Wiggle library book down under the deck ... sigh - you are never alone in this thing called motherhood Pen no matter what age your kids are. And what you are experiencing is totally normal and you are still a GREAT mom - xx

Lyns said...

Umm YEAH!! So really do understand how you have felt today. Sleep deprivation is so cruel. Life stresses don't help, neither does financial stress. We got in a free budget adviser who scratched his head and said wow it is hard to see anywhere you could save - that was a couple of years ago now. He said more and more people are coming to them for help. It did help us though as allowed us both to talk openly with a third party involved (so no fighting by us!) - I highly recommend!
Take care. Be kind to yourself. Hope you get a nights sleep tonight x

Gail said...

Hey hon, praying for breakthrough in sleep. I know for sure that finances can be such a pressure in an already cooking season! You are definitely not alone in any of this!! Much love and prayer! xx

Mands said...

YES YES YES had a good cry this morning on my way to work. I have a sore throat and am on antibiotics again, Luke is STILL not sleeping through...11 months and not 1 full nights sleep I live in hope...feeling a bit desperate, I had to fight traffic, it was raining today so traffic was especially bad. Work had been miserable I really don't want to be here AND as for money there is NEVER enough every time we get on top of things something happens..geyser, car, garage door, hospital bills ect ect ect So to sum it all up Pen you are not alone...Not at all!
Think of you often!
Love M

Sarah of 'Catching the Magic' said...

Sleep deprivation is the worse. It resulted in me seeing the doc at the six month mark after all 3 of my girls. I was diagnosed with mild depression. The sleep deprivation had severely depleted my serotonin levels and a mild dose of fluoxetine helped me get back on track and rebuild the levels required for normal functioning!

For me, the signs of mild depression are shouting at my children over tiny things that normally I'd handle, welling up and feeling the need to cry over the insurmountable level of housework (when I'm feeling 'sane' I just do it and get on with it!) and not wanting to go out as much during the day.

You're not alone. Don't be too hard on yourself. I always think that if my children saw me as 'perfect' all the time then they wouldn't be getting a 'real' picture and I'd be setting a very high bar for them. When I make mistakes I see it as an opportunity to show my children how to apologize - thankfully they forgive pretty quickly :)

All the best & take care x

Penny said...

Thanks everyone, I feel a little better now!
I'm normal!
And thanks Sarah, I will look into what you said if things don't improve.

Little Gumnut said...

Oh yeah, I can so relate! Impossible finances, being far from home, having to move but not knowing where you're going and people (very helpfully) telling you how hopeless it is to find somewhere to rent in Sydney, having a child have a massiiiive tantie because she doesn't want to wear shorts to school but wants a dress (which isn't clean) etc... do you really want to hear more? No probably not. I do feel for you though, the sleep thing makes everything so much harder. Breathe and take one five minutes at a time.
Thanks for stopping by the blog today and commenting :)

phonakins said...

Came via a blog hop
And lad to be reading this! Helps me put off thoughts of kids for another couple of years ;)

knightlight said...

i just want to give you a cuddle!!!! i know this post is old but i TOTALLY understand those days!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! xxx

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