There she stands

This week I thought I'd give this a go. A bit of creative writing to get the juices flowing again.

This week's prompts are about 'remembering", with a Christmas theme, and this is the one I picked:

Share one, pure, shining memory, plucked from your mind like a bauble.

There she stands. Ten years old with a freckled face and long red hair. Her navy blue and white polka dot dress clinging slightly to her legs in the heat. She keeps glancing back at her mother who is leading the choir behind her. But she doesn't need any prompting. She knows the cue like the back of her hand.

She clutches her dress at the sides of her legs, pulling at it, and wishes the moment over. She loves to sing but doesn't know if she's any good. The music starts and she feels slightly sick. This is the moment.

She hears the cue and takes a breath, her voice trembling as she begins to sing the first lines of 'Mary's Boy Child'. Relief floods through her as the choir joins in in the second verse. The worst is over. Soon she can take her seat in the hard wooden pews with the prayers books and feel safe again.

And soon she can go home and open her presents under the Christmas tree with her sisters. That's what she's really looking forward to after all.


I want to take this opportunity to wish all of you a Merry Christmas!

Hope it is a blessed time with your families

Rain, rain go away

My friend commented on Facebook that she may be reading her son the story of Noah's Ark instead of the story of Jesus' birth this Christmas!

Rain is forecast all week, and supposed to just clear a little in time for Christmas Day.

I know the farmers need the rain, and I guess that need is greater than mine. But what am I supposed to do with two boys who are climbing the walls? Today's weather is a little better and we spent some time on the trampoline letting off some steam. And I made some play dough, which kept Turbo busy while I was finishing off the last of my Christmas baking.

Now what? Hmmm.

Head up to the mall for a coffee with Mr Samoa? That's the best we could come up with. At least Turbo will be able to run up and down a little. But will we even be able to get a parking space?

Anyway, I hope you are having a great week so far!

Here's some photos of when I let Turbo out in the drizzle yesterday. Love how the colours are so vibrant and bright when it rains.

Grateful for/that...

I love being grateful. It' so much better then the alternative!

Here's my list:

1. My wonderful husband who is an amazing father. We have come so far together and I am incredibly proud of him. Love you, Mr Samoa.

2. The end of an incredibly tough year. The toughest in our marriage so far. But it's mostly over.

Mr Samoa starts work in 6 weeks and he received his invitation to graduation in May next year.

What a celebration that will be!

3. Finding these shoes! And these shoes

 You have no idea the trouble I had trying to find a really soft soled sandal for a boy. Lots of closed shoes...but who wants to wear closed shoes in Summer? And lots of hard soled sandals...but he's just learning to walk so not good for his feet. Lots of soft soled sandals for girls around too.

The hours I spent looking!

4. A girls night out for a hen's night, theme: a day at the races. It was fun to dress up and play games and laugh freely. No kids, no curfew!

But I have to admit I was home by 10pm...just too tired to join in humiliating the bride to be in town.
(Sorry about the strange photo angle. Still working on Mr Samoa's photo taking skills)

 5. Freebies!
This gem was left on the pavement for anyone to pick up. 

I was examining it and figuring out if it would fit in my car when the owner came out to help me.

She then 'reserved' it for me until I could Mr Samoa to come back and get it.

6. Everything boy-ish. Blue and red together. Spiderman.
Lightning McQueen PJs.
Tackles. Roars. Sword and gun fights.

7. Finding this Buzz Lightyear that Turbo adores for just $3 when at other leading retail stores they go for around $70. Ok, he's a lot smaller than the $70 ones but who can argue with $3?

We would have bought him Woody too but this Buzz was the last one.
Meant to be, I tell ya!
(excuse Turbo's very dirty hands...I do bath him everyday, I promise!)

8. That the journey with Smiley, the personification of cuteness, gets easier with each passing week.

I remember before he was born...I was so nervous of how I would cope with a newborn and a dynamo of a not yet two year old.
It's so much easier now and I am enjoying Smiley so, so much.
Delighting in him actually.

9. I've got to see my two precious boys grow up first hand almost every day of the week. It was huge sacrifice but something I always wanted and believed in. It's been hard but now it's over, I don't regret a minute.

10. That my boys get to grow up with their cousins. These two get on so well, and yell and shriek with joy when they're together.

11. Christmas!

And all the parties and yummy treats and get togethers that come with it.

Creating our first family traditions.

Remembering the reason for the season...and starting to teach your children about it. 

I could go on and on.

What are you grateful for?
See what others are grateful for here

My very first attempt...

 ...at Christmas biscuits and working with dough. Vague memories of making mince tarts with my mom came back to me when I was presented with a mass of sticky, not very pliable biscuit dough.

O that's right, you have to keep adding flour and kneading it. The recipe I used obviously took it for granted that people would know what to do because it had no instructions!

And little chubby armed helpers did not make it any easier. But that was the point, remember? (talking to myself). To make some memorable Christmas traditions.

Look at the finger holes and overlapping shapes. O well.

It's about making memories, it's about making memories.

 We did manage to get it right in the end.

Bake until golden. Hmmm....are these golden or reflecting the oven light? 

Managed to figure out how to dust icing sugar with my oversize sieve.

And found some Christmas bags in my wrapping paper and gift bag stash. Perfect!

And of course, someone had to sample the goods.

He wanted to sample them several times actually and I had to pack them away super fast.

Here Turbo told me he was counting them! Hmmm.

All in all it was a success and they taste fine so I'll do the real batch, that will be packaged as Christmas presents, next week. 

Well done me...O and um, you too, Turbo.

Blast from the past

I found some treasures in my parents garage on Saturday.

As soon as I saw them I knew that Turbo would love them. Ever since having Smiley, his nurturing side has come out and I've observed him playing lovingly with baby dolls whenever he could get his hands on them.

So when I saw my baby doll from when I was a little girl, I knew it was the perfect gift for Turbo.

She's a lifesize 6 month old...or probably four month old in the case of my boys!

After a wash and some new clothes (wish I had taken some before photos), she is now a 'he'.

And is being doted on! He's had rice, water, a bottle, a sleep, a walk...and it's only day one with him. I've tried to give him a name but he firmly remains just "Baby". Look at the love in Turbo's eyes!

Another treasure was this Cabbage Patch doll. Anyone remember these?

The dress was missing but I cleaned her up and she looks cute in a new born t-shirt that kind of looks like a dress, so she can stay a she.

She is actually for Smiley, who couldn't give a toss about her right now, and so is being looked after by Turbo a little as well.

Love that I get to pass these on!

My Mom and Dad are amazing at keeping things for us because their parents kept nothing of theirs and so they have no treasures from their childhood at all. Here are some other things my Mom and Dad kept so I could pass them on:

Turbo is really rough on toys and I cringe when he throws these treasures around. But what are toys for other than to be played with?

Note: Yes these are boys toys. But I was from a family of three daughters and my Dad thought it was his duty to educate us with boys toys as well.

We even had a collection of Matchbox cars and were taught things like how to change a tyre, re-wire a plug, use a drill etc. Invaluable skills!

Starting Christmas traditions

Up until now, when asked the question, "What's your family doing for Christmas?" my thoughts always extended to my Mom and Dad, sisters and Mr Samoa's family.

But this year, my thinking has shifted somewhat.

Because, actually, my family is me, Mr Samoa, Turbo and Smiley.

And we need some family traditions, just for our little family of four. Turbo is now 2 and a half and I think it's so important to start them this year.

 

As I wrote a couple of posts ago, we started by buying our first Christmas tree and decorations. And on Friday afternoon, we put on some Christmas carols and set up the tree as a family. Turbo was super excited. I didn't even know he knew what a Christmas tree was!

He was so eager to help and hang the decorations, and once it was completed, it was like he was on a serious high.

Who knew a tree could be so exciting?

And then on Saturday, we attended a Santa parade with 'Nanny and Gempa'. Turbo really enjoyed it, although he has no idea what it was all about and he

actually looked the other way when Santa came past! O well, plenty of time for that.

After the parade there was lots to do. Turbo visited the fire engine crew, watched a helicopter take off and went on a jumping castle. Fun fun fun!

And a little exhausting I must say.

I have a few other things up my sleeve like baking some Christmas biscuits and a special night on Christmas Eve....where one day we will read the story of Jesus' birth. 

Having kids certainly does make Christmas even more special I think.

I remember my childhood Christmasses fondly. My Mom and I always baked mince tarts (yuk!) in the weeks leading up to Christmas, put up the tree and decorated the house. Christmas morning we always awoke to a stocking from Santa then went to church and then as soon we were home, gathered with our mince tarts, tea and other goodies, and one of us put on the Santa hat and handed out the presents. The rest of the day was spent in the pool, playing board games with cousins and eating a big Christmas lunch.

I want to make memories like that for our children. Starting this year!

Oh, and we recieved a package from South Africa from my Aunt with this beauty who has a place of honour on our tree. Gorgeous isn't she?

Thank you Aunt M!

At my house - Celebrations! and what I've learned along the way

Today, the very, very last, final result was posted up for Mr Samoa's exams.

He passed!!

So we packed the kids in the car as soon as they woke and headed to the park for ice creams.

We want to celebrate every moment of this victory...savour it, if you will.

It's been an incredibly stretching 5 year journey, spanning most of the length of our marriage. Crazily, we added two kids to the mix during this time

(one kind-of planned, one totally unplanned).

We have struggled, soared, cried and laughed, but most of all, grown stronger in every way. We have learned to draw together and encourage each other, and not let the stress drive a wedge in between us.

We've also learned to accept help, and ask for it sometimes. That was hard. But it became easier along the way.

The lowest moment was when we learned that Mr Samoa's study was not finishing when we were lead to believe it would.

We fought the system, we prayed, we met with those in authority.

It was not to be. The agonising journey was to continue for at least another 6 months. Hard to swallow when that's what you've been holding out for for 4 and a half years.

This last season of the extra study time has been the toughest of the 5 years. No job offer presented itself, like we prayed and believed for.

Doors slammed shut in our face.

And so we learned to trust God like we've never trusted before. Trust that He would look after us, that He would work things out for our good and that this journey was not going to break us!

And a job came Mr Samoa's way, at the right time, in the right place.

Now it's over, I can look back and breathe a sigh of relief.

We waited for this moment for a long time.

Mr Samoa starts work as a qualified teacher in 8 weeks!

As Mr Samoa would say in true Samoan style:

Cheee-hoooo!!!!!!!!!

See what's going on at other houses here

I'm grateful for...

I'm playing along with Maxabella and compiling a list of things I'm grateful for this week.

1. Grommets.

I realised the other day that I have only taken Turbo to the doctor once for something not ear related since he got his grommets in July. 

Wow!

During Winter, Turbo was on antobiotics every 3 weeks with an ear infection or something related. They know us well. I'm really happy about this.

Read more about the grommets tale here

2. A busy few days socialising.

Thursday night we were at an end of year church BBQ, kids and all. Fun chaos. Friday night we were kid-less at a friend's 40th. And this afternoon I was at a friend's baby shower at the most beautiful house I've seen in a while. Tiring? Yes. Fun? YES!

3. Our first ever Christmas tree.

Plastic. 6ft. OURS!

With Mr Samoa's study, things like that to take a back seat and we just focused on pressies for each other and Turbo. This year we are starting to establish some family traditions and I'm super excited.

4. A clever little boy who can now stand by himself and makes me proud each time he does it.

Smiley will be sitting one moment and then push up on his hands into a standing position.

He wobbles proudly for 3-5 secs and then plops back onto his bottom.

5. A bit of money coming our way.

We got a government back pay which means Christmas pressies, the above-mentioned tree, bills all paid...I can relax!

Not everyone loves government departments but I am pretty thankful for them. They enabled me to stay at home with my kids while Mr Samoa studied. I told Mr Samoa we should write a thank you letter to them because I bet they never get thanked. He totally mocked me.

"Dear everyone we've ever dealt with and spoken to on the phone in the last 5 years..."

Hmmpf. I mean like to the head office or something.

That's my list for this week

What are you grateful for?

Doing better, thanks

So the last few weeks have been a little rough.
 This post pretty much describes the last two or three weeks.

I was completely exhausted, depleted, not coping, low. It was bad enough for me to go and see a doctor.
I usually just 'push through', which is probably why I hit such a wall.
I'm the type of person who doesn't sit still for long, likes to accomplish things and has a to-do list constantly in her head. I give until I've got no more in the (subconscious) quest to be the perfect wife and mother.
Anyone do the same?

And after 9 months straight of waking at least once a night, quite often more, no wonder I'm feeling the way I am.

We have (once again!!! read this post or this one for the battles with Turbo) tried different methods, and battled with Smiley to get him sleeping better.
My babies seem to be the kind who just don't give up that easily.

Crying it out does not work. They go for hours night after night after night....for weeks. For months I was up at night with Smiley. I refused to feed him, you see, before a certain time, and so it was either let him scream
(I tried for a few weeks but it didn't work and it's tortureous for me in our small unit where we live)
or sit with him or walk him up and down.

Looking back now I think I was nuts. Once again, I was trying to accomplish something:
the 'ultimate goal' (dripping with sarcasm) of having (drum roll please):
A baby who sleeps through the night.
Hmmmm.
I secretly hate those words!

And it was always me getting up as Mr Samoa had to study for exams, write assignments etc. and it was his last shot at getting his degree.
We weren't about to take any chances!

I'm rambling. Back to the doctor's appointment...

Her 'diagnosis' all boiled down to this:
"If you sort your baby's sleep out, you will be fine."

No kidding. You think?



She prescribed me some multivitamins and organised me a blood test.
We had a talk about post natal depression too.
I struggled with PND for 5 months after's Turbo's birth so I (and my family) have been watching out for it this time around.
But so far so good. I've enjoyed the journey so much more this time...
until these past few weeks.


The blood test levels came back all fine. Dang.
I was hoping I could 'fix' me with an iron pill or something.

But I have to agree with the doctor. The tiredness is taking it's toll.

But the good news (flippin' great news actually) is that this week I am feeling a whole lot better.

Still tired, yes, but Mr Samoa is being amazing.
He lets me sleep in every morning and because he hasn't currently found a summer job, he's home and helping me.

On top of that I've shifted my mindset. I HAVE to look after me more.
So I rest at every opportunity, even if it's just half an hour.

And as I mentioned in the last post, Smiley is now doing 2 hour afternoon naps instead of 40 minutes.
This makes a HUGE difference too. I didn't realise what a strain it was until it changed.
When he wakes up I feel ready to see him again. I look forward to it.


So things are looking up.

Phew!

Dear Smiley

Nine months today! I feel like I just write the post about you being 8 months.

In honour of turning 9 months, yesterday you stood all by yourself. You were holding onto the washing basket and, oh so casually, let go and stood for 3 seconds before plopping down onto your bottom. Woah! I'm not ready for a walker. You're not even crawling so don't go walking on me. Ok?

You are a very cuddly boy which is a bit different to your big brother so it's taking some getting used to. You want to be attached to me constantly, even when we're sitting down together playing with your toys. You reach over for cuddles every few minutes!

Your sleep patterns are still up and down. Yesterday you did a 2 hour afternoon nap. I cannot remember the last time you slept more than 40 minutes during the day. I got so much done! Can you do that more often please? I still can't believe you've only done 40 minutes naps for most of your life. Don't you just wanna roll over and go back to sleep when you wake up?

Night times are also up and down. You are not at all predictable and wake at different times each night. I've given up trying to make you do anything with your sleep.

Today I also heard you say "Mama" for the first time. Pretty momentous day, hey?

Your favourite food is yoghurt or custard. You eat quite a variety now and I'd say your favourite fruits are strawberries and oranges.

Everywhere we go you charm people with your smile. I get constant comments about what a happy boy you are.

Another latest skill is "pointing" (with your whole hand). It's very cute. You point at things that interest you like the trees moving in the wind, or at your Daddy.

You've got four top teeth now...and still only one bottom tooth. You don't seem to do anything by the book, Smiley!

And that's why we love you so very much.

You're an awesome little boy.

Update as at 23 Nov: You started crawling. Let the games begin!

It's official...

...I have a button!!

I am super proud because I made it and figured it all out by myself.

Didn't turn out to be that hard, but hard enough to give me a bit of a headache.

Ok, so it's not the flashest button, but it's MY button. That I made. Yeah!

Here it is:

 But I have no idea how to put the details for you to grab it in this blog post! So you'll have to go to my sidebar, on the left, just down a little, you see it?  

Hope you've all had a great weekend!

The story of us - Part 2

{Note: sorry this post does not have a lot of photos. I have been trying to find my box of old photo albums but they seem to be M.I.A for now}

If you missed Part 1, read it here

One night at a youth meeting, the young woman, who was now 21 years old, got up on stage to introduce the youth dance team that she was running. The young man thought she was beautiful and began to watch her more closely. They ran into each other quite a bit. He made excuses to talk to her. The young man asked her about the dancers in her youth dance team. She thought he was really caring about these youth because he asked her about them quite a few times.

The awesome 'Eternal' dance team

Sorry it's so blurry! That's me right in the middle

One night, at a Easter production the church was putting on, he checked her out as she stretched and warmed up for her dance. The young woman liked his rap song and thought he was cute, but she liked someone else. She began to suspect that he liked her when he managed to get her alone one afternoon at a dance practise. He asked her if she was going to the church ball. She said that she was. He asked her if she was going with anyone. She said that she wasn't. And the conversation peetered out. Hmmm.

She went on with her life, each week seeing the young man at the youth meeting on Friday nights. One night, a few weeks later, he asked for her phone number. The young woman was surprised but she gave it to him, thinking he wanted to talk about the youth. Later that week he called her. The young man had a list of questions to ask her, the last question being the one where he would ask her out. They had a nice conversation, which, once again, surprised the young woman. But the young man was very nervous and didn't get to the last question.

That Friday night, he asked if he could speak to her alone. He was very nervous again. He plucked up his courage and asked if he could take her out one night. The young woman was also a bit nervous and said yes, but that she would bring someone with her. He told her he would call her.

The young man was very excited, and arranged to pick her up a couple of weeks later on a Saturday night, and take her to the movies. He convinced her not to bring anyone with her. That Saturday, both the young woman and the young man couldn't eat for most of the day. As night approached, they both got even more nervous. The young man bought roses and chocolates for her, and drove to pick her up that evening.

Aw, look how young and skinny Mr Samoa was!

 

It was the young woman's very first date! He took her to the movies, and they saw SWAT - a total guy movie. She said no to popcorn and coke but wished she had said yes. After the movie she was starving so he said he'd take her out for dinner. She was excited! But they ended up getting Burger King and eating it in the car by the beach. The young woman was quite uncomfortable sitting in a dark car on the beach with someone she hardly knew, but she was beginning to like the young man. He was different...and cute.

Part 3 coming soon...

Wordless Wednesday: Creative play & "I think I'm so clever!"

Cars in the shower with ice - compliments of our overactive freezer

Standing by myself!

A night to remember

On Friday night, Mr Samoa and I went on a date as a celebration for finishing his study and for his job for next year. I wanted to do something memorable and special that would mean a lot to us.

So I chose Takapuna on the North Shore of Auckland. The place where we had our very first date and where Mr Samoa proposed to me.

I picked up some sparkling juice to toast with and packed the picnic blanket. My Mom and Dad arrived and we set off on our romantic adventure, Smiley safely in bed and Turbo happily playing with 'Nanny and Gempa'.

We got Burger King to eat on the beach and set up the blanket. Burger King, too, has special significance as this is what Mr Samoa bought me for dinner on our first date (more to come about this in The Story of Us - Part 2, click here if you missed Part 1). I'm not a big fan of Burger King but I must say the new Swiss Steakhouse burger is delicious! Fresh lettuce and tomoto, swiss cheese and lots of yummy mustardy tasting sauce. Anyway.

We poured the juice and I made a toast to Mr Samoa, for the strength he has shown in this journey of study, for succeeding against the odds and finishing despite having to do an extra year. And he toasted me, for standing by him and encouraging him the whole way through.

We raised our glasses to a new season that will begin in 10 weeks. It feels so good to be here, finally done.

The view was incredible, on the clear, warmish night. We walked along the beach, reminiscing. Here was where we parked up during my lunch breaks

(I worked in Takapuna when we first started dating) and kissed.

   

The wharf was where we ate our very first meal together.

And the then we visited the spot, near a tree, where he knelt down and asked me to marry him 11 months after our first date.

We had THE best time, holding hands, laughing, enjoying each other's company. To top the night off, my parents shouted us dessert and coffee, which ended up keeping me up most of the night. Note to self: order decaf after 5pm! But this didn't put a damper on the experience. I loved every minute. It's so important to have times like these, especially when things have been hard for a while. Sigh (of contentment).

Because laughter is the best medicine

Get me outta here!

Yip, been a heck of a day.

A day where everything your kids do annoys you.

Where you overreact to small things and your emotions have a life of their own. Just can't seem to control them - especially the anger.

When Turbo tipped the contents of his potty onto the floor next to the toilet in his bid to help me, I knew he was doing his best. I knew, but I couldn't help myself. I yelled and shoved gently moved him towards the door.

And when he resisted my attempts to brush his teeth for the thousandth time, I threw the toothbrush at the mirror and locked myself in my bedroom for a couple of minutes. The alternative would not have been nice.

I won't even go into my frustration with Smiley. Super cling-on boy!!!

And for me, a usually level-headed and relatively calm person, this behaviour is disconcerting me. There could be a few explanations.

1. I'm so freakin tired...from waking up at night, from the full on demands of having a 2 year old and an 8 month old, both active and never still, from cooking and cleaning and washing over and over again

2. This season has been extremely taxing in every way for 5 long years. Sure it's nearly over, but it isn't just yet.

3. Ummm, I don't have any more reasons but I feel there should be a third

Did you know (I'm sure you all do) that financial pressure of one of the main reasons couples divorce? Not that we've ever come close, but we've been under quite extreme financial pressure for a long time.

Yeah, ok, I know there are people much worse off.

On days like today I end up thinking "Get me outta here!".

But no-one answers my cry and I can't leave, so....

you just carry on.

Getting more and more frazzled as the day goes on.

Today's only saving grace was an hour and a half respite at coffee group this morning. We went to a cafe run by another church where they look after your kids while you have cake and coffee for only $4!

Got to hang out with two lovely woman and forget my woes for a while.

Sorry for the pitiful post. I will rally and be ok tomorrow.

Has anyone had a day like this recently? I'd love to know I'm not alone

Loving, not loving

Loving that...

Mr Samoa (a.k.a clown!) has been offered a job! Yes, I real job for the first time in 5 long, hard years. A few things have to be confirmed, but the offer is official and the champaigne will come out next week after his exam. Gotta keep focused for now.

Smiley, who is 8 months old is already eating what we eat at the dinner table (in smaller chunks of course). I am not having another fussy eater like Turbo, who from around the age of 1, decided a fruit or vegetable would not pass through his lips...unless Mummy cleverly disguised it in his food.

Last night Smiley ate our mince with us and the night before, pasta. And he eats lots of different types of fruit.

Turbo has been fully toilet trained for the last few months. The money it saves on nappies! And he has a bladder like a camel so no trouble when we go out. He just waits until we get home. Awesome stuff, Turbo!

My backyard is a little Summer haven. It's not big, but it's just right for us. A trampoline, sandpit and paddling pool. A shady, leafy tree with a cool afternoon shade spot. We spend most afternoons there.

I bought a skipping rope. Finally doing some exercise. I wasn't quite getting out there, so I brought the exercise home to me. Flip, it's hard! Can only do a minute at the moment.

We are getting out and socialising more at night with our kids. With Turbo, I was so scared to break his routine. This time, we want to have a life! On Saturday night we were here. Thanks, Simone, we really enjoyed ourselves.

Mr Samoa and I keep getting closer and stronger in our relationship, despite the recent rocky patches. He rocks. THE best husband.

Not loving that...

One of my best friends is moving away. Not too far, but far enough that we can't meet up like we do now. I am going to miss her terribly. But, at least we'll have a holiday destination?

The scorching NZ sun season is upon us. Being the colouring that I am, I can never fully enjoy it. I'm the one scrambling desperately for a spot in the shade and constantly lathering myself with suncreen. But hey, you all should be doing the same, right? No one is immune to skin cancer.

I'm so tired. Smiley still wakes at night and so I have a really short fuse at the moment. Turbo often gets the worst of me. Mornings are not good.

Smiley still only naps for half an hour during the day. I don't get much done. I probably should come to terms with that now.

Because of the above, my house is really not that clean. And I don't foresee being able to do anything about it anytime soon. I manage to do the main stuff but I can't remember when I cleaned behind the furniture or in the cupboards for example. So if you come over to my house, please don't look too closely! Sigh.