Brain dead

Well to say motherhood is a challenge at the moment is an understatement. Sometimes I wonder if all mothers find it so hard or if somehow it's ME...do I just not quite manage? Maybe it's the stage Benjamin's at. Or dare I say it again: Benjamin is a Spirited child = darn hard work!!



I never want to be one of those people who think they've got it harder. Because in actual fact, I have a great life! I am very blessed. I just tend to forget that a lot lately. My tolerance level is close to zero. Probably because I'm 6 months pregnant!!! (which I hardly ever think about - poor Bump, I do love you too!)



Most places I go, someone will make a comment about how full of energy he is, or how loud and chatty, or how friendly. Yes, he is all of that. And it's wonderful. He is full of character and life and vibrancy. But that also means he is NEVER still, except for when he's eating in his high chair or engrossed in a DVD.



Sigh. Of course, at the end of the day, I wouldn't change a thing about my Benjamin. I just need a fresh dose of strength and perspective. I know where to go for that.

"Riding in cars with girls"

This is a great photo taken on the day he turned 18 months old. He's already a hit with the girls, and quite comfortable at the wheel!

The exit

So the season of uncontrollable, public tantrums has begun. I made my first exit from a cafe on Monday, screaming baby under one arm, pushing stroller with the other. I can rest assured this will not be the only one for my spirited little boy, but the first of many, many exits.



So I better get good at them. Should I wave and smile as I go?

Good clean fun

My Mom had a great idea to use up the boxes from the move....shows you don't need money to have fun with your kids!

We taped the flaps of 3 sturdy boxes together, inside and out, and cut a hole in the side for the window. Benjamin loves it!

Attack of the killer fleas

We have had a few extra house guests since we moved that are proving a little difficult to get rid of. Yuk! My poor little boy has been more than a little unhappy. On Saturday night he was up four times. Eventually I ignored him. He was being eaten alive!!!!! One of those guilty moments. If only he could have told me.




And church on Sunday night was a nightmare. Half way through the service, I just had to leave. He wouldn't stop crying and I was slightly stressed, and without hubby as he was studying for his exam.


Unfortunately my darling Benjamin has his mommy's sensitive skin and the flea bites scab up and weep, making them look ten times worse. And the ones on his hands have blistered! I remember going to primary school with multiple plasters on my legs because I had broken out in ugly blisters after being bitten by a mosquito.


Thankfully, I think that as of today, they have finally moved out. Phew.

Thankful

For the first time in 3 1/2 years, my hubby and I have our own place. And it just feels so good. Since he has been studying, we've boarded with a family, stayed with his parents, house sat, stayed with my parents and then house shared with another family. You do what you have to do. But you don't realise the strain it puts on you, especially when children are involved.

I have gleaned something good from each experience. There have been positives about every one. Yet as I sit here, in MY lounge typing this post, I am at peace. Yes there is added financial pressure with having your own place. But I'm putting that aside and savouring this moment. It's so quiet here. *sigh of contentment*.

It is a little two bedroom, newly renovated unit with a fully fenced backyard. A little small for Benjamin, who I have now nicknamed My Tornado (refering to the havoc he creates in the small space) but I'm not going to complain. I love cleaning MY little place and hanging clothes on MY little washing line. I'll put some photos up when we've unpacked and cleared the remaining boxes. Takes a while.

What a season it's been. In half an hour, hubby will write the last exam of four years of study. Wow! Unfortunately he has one more semester. A few catch ups. But that's ok. He stuck in there and is doing what no-one in his family has done!! I am soooo proud of him.

And now I'm going to go back to folding the washing. Fully content, and thankful.

Boys, boys, boys

Well my bump is officially a boy bump, making him the 5th grandson on my side, and the 6th grandson on hubby's side. Boys!! We are making a little tribe of them. In all honestly, I was a little disappointed when I first found out. That, however, was short lived as I began to think about all the great things about having another boy. And at the end of the day, God knows what my family needs. He knows what Benjamin needs.

I think part of my disappointment came out of fear. I was a little ummm...shall we use the word, concerned, that the baby to come will have a temperament similar to Benjamin's. And even if he does not, how am I going to deal with my wonderful, loud, active, lively, demanding, easily bored Benjamin when I am breastfeeding, for example? Thankfully there are many great mothers that have ideas for me.

On Friday night, Benjamin hung out with 3 of his older boy cousins. He was having so much fun he didn't want to come in for dinner! And tomorrow he gets to hang out with another 2 boy cousins, one of which is 3 weeks younger than him. How awesome is that!

Here are some photos of all the handsome boys










P.s. Fellow bloggers: How come you can get the photos looking all good in the preview and when they're published, it messes them all up? It's so annoying!

Suspicions confirmed!

Yesterday we had the appointment with the child psychologist. Once again, I went along sheepishly feeling I was wasting the time of someone highly qualified on a child where there really wasn’t anything wrong. But once again I had nothing to worry about. Dr. S from Germany was absolutely lovely and genuinely wanted to help us. It turned out he was helping us with Benjamin’s sleep problems (I wasn’t 100% sure why we had actually been referred).

He didn’t really say anything we hadn’t heard before except that waking twice a night was actually quite common (and normal) for most 18 month olds!!!!!! I was amazed. I seem to be surrounded by people where this is not the case. Anyway. He did say that what you do when they wake is what counts and helps them establish a good sleeping pattern.

Nearing the end of the appointment I asked him for some other advice on how best to handle Benjamin. Do you know what he said? Be one step ahead of him! I get tired just thinking about it. And then he said, “That’s what you have to do when dealing with an intelligent child.” Well, I was a proud momma! I mean we’ve had our suspicions about Benjamin being particularly bright and advanced, but now we’re totally sure. Confirmed by an expert and all.

Dr. S also mentioned we need to be proactive with Benjamin not reactive. While we were in the room with Dr. S, Benjamin took his water bottle, walked to corner and started squirting it all over the carpet. Dr S said he chose that spot because it’s out of sight and he knows he shouldn’t really do that. The solution? Take the water bottle away before he has the chance. I need eyes in the back of head!

Dr. S said a child like Benjamin needs a lot of stimulation and is a more challenging child to parent than most. Another suspicion confirmed! Sometimes I feel people just don't get what I'm talking about. Well now I know maybe I'm right about that too.

And once again, as if Auckland District Health Board and Starship Children's Hospital haven't done enough for us, Dr. S wants a follow up appointment with us in 4 weeks! (For what? I am thinking....but I said yes).

God of nations at Thy feet...la la la

Yes I am singing the praises of this little (but great!) nation, I now call home. In particular, the public health system. Coming from South Africa, where basically nothing is free, I am stunned by how much is available at no cost at all.

 

Let me tell you how this all started. A few months back, I was very sleep deprived, about 8 weeks pregnant, insanely hormonal and totally stressed out. I was not coping very well. And so I found myself at the doctor begging for something to sedate my little boy, to make him sleep better at night. She would not prescribe anything but instead refered me to Starship Children's Hospital to see a paedeatrician. Great help, was my sarcastic reply (in my head of course).

So anyway, the letter arrived a couple of weeks later informing me of my appointment with a Dr A. Along I went, feeling a bit sheepish. I mean, aren't there more pressing needs than a toddler's sleep problems? Dr A turned out to be a lovely lady who patiently listened and offered great advice, not making me feel this was a waste of time for one moment. She asked lots of questions and examined Turbo in detail - from his skin to his teeth.

But I had to hear what I didn't want to hear. Turbo's sleep problems can only be solved by going back to the good old behavioural training. In other words, teaching him (again!!) that if he wakes at night, he can go back to sleep by himself. Last time hubby and I did this training, it took 3 weeks of horrible crying (when I was advised it would take no longer than a week). I didn't want to hear this but deep down, I knew it was true. Going with the flow just does not equate with a boy like Turbo.

Another great bit of advice she gave us was to reduce his day time milk intake to help him eat more during the day and hopefully sleep better at night. We had already begum to reduce his night time milk and had successfully halved his night feed. But I was giving him as much milk as he wanted during the day. He loves it and it's good for him so why not? But reducing it worked like a charm! I now only give Turbo one bottle in 24 hours instead of three or four. And he eats a whole lot more. In hindsight, I feel kind of silly for not realising this myself...I mean, duh, of course milk fills your tummy up. Anyway.

While in the appointment, Dr A also checked his ears, which were red once again. Poor thing. So she refered him to an ear, nose and throat specialist (ENT) which is also free of charge. But wait there's more! Dr. A asked me if anything else about Turbo was challenging and I mentioned he was particularly strong and full on. So she refered me to a child psychologist! At the time I didn't quite know why, but I said yes to everything that was offered to me.

To top it all off, Dr. A threw in one free and one minimal cost parenting course that hubby and I can take if we chose to, which she highly recommended we do.

So I embarked on the sleep training with much trepidation. I decided to do it while hubby was away and I was staying at my mom's house because it's much quieter and Turbo sleeps in a room downstairs...so I didn't have to listen to him crying right next door to me. Aren't baby monitors great? They have volume buttons that can be turned down : )

Note: please sit down if you are not already sitting as this news may stun you

Turbo responded within a few days! And apart from last night, has slept like a dream ever since. We're talking 11 to 12 hours a night with a few whines and niggles in the early hours of the morning. The only thing I can put it down to is that this time, HE is ready. Not us. HIM. He's decided he'd quite like to sleep all night and so he is. Celebrate good times, come on! hmm hmmm

In saying this, I am ever more aware that the journey with Turbo's sleeping is not over. We have to remain consistent no matter what. I think in the past this has been our downfall. We've thought he was 'fixed'. We now realise his sleeping can easily be undone by any number of things (summer heat, teething, sickness etc.) and that consistently is key. No more quick fixes or giving in.

So I guess the Sleep Chronicles will continue. But hopefully with a lot less drama.

The daycare

Well I just have to write a post about Benjamin's daycare. They make me laugh....often. It's an in-home daycare called Jemma's and it's been a real blessing to us. The care-givers are a pair of Indian twin sisters who think the sun shines out of Benjamin's bottom! (I tend to agree of course).


From day one, they fell in love with Benji as they call him. Say 'Benji' with an Indian accent and it will give you a chuckle. Go on, do it! Although they have no children of their own, their love and devotion to Benjamin has been a real blessing. They (G & P) have invested time and money that goes beyond the care he would have got at another day care. G & P write weekly, detailed updates, with photos and cute moments and insights. They have given me many DVDs of videoa they've taken and invest their own money in buying him toys they think he'll like. He's only there two days a week, yet they give their all to him in the time he's there.


G & P's house is literally a 2 minute drive from our house which couldn't be easier for us. And cherry on top, G & P are Christians, who love God and regularly pray for Benji, my husband and I, and the baby to come. Wow! Each time I pick Benjamin up they both stand in front of me, talking over each other, each trying to tell me how the day was.




When I first met G & P, I was not all that enamoured with them. Having had no children of their own, they were going to have to learn as they went. Not that appealing. And being new recruits, to the day care, Benji was their first child. I thought about it long and hard and the next week, took my hubby along to check it (them!) out. He announced as we were sitting there that Benjamin would be starting with them next week. The look of shock on my face was unconcealable and G & P gracefully interceded. But that was that. Benjamin, that is Benji, had a new day care.


G & P's lack of experience has been frustrating at times, like when they couldn't get him to sleep and kept trying different (confusing!) things on him, or when they wiped his bottom so hard he came home with a raw patch on it that took a week to heal. But despite all that, I know I've done the right thing. I know by the excited look on his face when we pull into the drive. And by the way he sometimes doesn't want to come home. He once even said "ta ta" to me and waved as I tried to walk away and show him I was really leaving without him!


Another thing I was worried about was the lack of other children. That was really important to me. But I shouldn't have worried. A little three year girl is now Benji's best friend. Apparently this little girl was shy and withdrawn but now has come out of her shell and is always excited to see 'darling Benji' as she calls him. And everywhere they go, these outgoing, vibrant Indian sisters make friends. Just last week they told me a mum they had just met at the park asked if she could regularly bring her daughter to the park at the same time! Fridays are Mainly Music days.

God looks after us in ways we sometimes don't recognise at first. It's only as we look back and reflect that we can see His hand so evident in it all.

P.s. Photos of G & P to come. Haven't managed to work out how to get them off their updates but will keep trying

Where's my happy little boy gone?

My little bright -eyed boy, who I proudly boasted (in the proud mum, good kind of way) had a default setting of happy, has turned into some kind of monster! I think the culprit is....teeth! Although I'm not entirely sure because there are no signs of them.


For the past few days he has been throwing himself on the floor, whining constantly, wanting to be held but then not happy to sit still in my arms, not eating well and doing explosive yellow poos that sometimes venture all the way up his back (sorry if that was too much information for you). It's a really hard to know what exactly is wrong. Half of me really wants to run back to the doctor. The other half is convinced it's teething and that he'll be ok.


This morning I was unable to leave him in church creche. I missed the whole service! And not only did I have to sit in the room with him, he was constantly whining and climbing on me. I had absolutely no idea what to do with him.


The only saving grace in this whole situation is that for some insane reason he's sleeping better. So pain and sickness = better sleep?! Since the first sleep chronicles entry, things actually got worse! Who would have thought they could get worse? I thank God for small mercies like last night's good sleep.

Let's hope the culprits make an appearance soon.

A little photo gallery

Giving a swan the eye when we went to Western Springs to feed the ducks

Eating the bread that I'm meant to throwing to the ducks

The world from my perspective

Showing off my luscious, bountiful thighs

My Mum take me to Chipmunks, full of slides and pools of balls and tunnels, and I choose this!

Default setting: HAPPY

My little boy has been sick for so long! He had an ear infection in June for which he was put on antibiotics, then this horrible wheezy cough for which he was given an inhaler (!!!), then another ear infection with more antibiotics (which have not yet worked) at the end of July. To date, the ear infection has still not gone! The doctor's visit this morning was the third in less than 3 weeks.

Yet despite all of this, he is a happy, energetic and fun-loving little boy. His predisposition is a smile. So lovely! I know his ears are bothering him when he scratches them and whines but at the prospect of a game of jumping off the wall outside (his new favourite. And yes we do catch him when he jumps!) he'll easily forget his pain and swap it for a laugh with Mom or Dad. What a wonderful little boy I have!

The sleep chronicles

The night before last night went something like this:

12am: Whines start from the room next door - which quickly turn into cries. I go into Benjammin's room , see if he's ok, offer him some water (which he spits out), lie him down again and walk out. The cries get louder and more hysterical. I pray he'd go to sleep. We try to ignore the cries. Frustration builds. Neither of us can get some sleep.

1am: We give in and get him a bottle.

1.30am: He is fast asleep and I can't get back to sleep. Finally I do. Not sure what time.

5.15am: The whines start from next door. I get up straight away and get him a bottle. This will send him straight back to sleep, I think, and then I can get some more much needed sleep.


5.50am: I give up and get up - he won't go back to sleep. I go into his room and am greeted by a huge smile. I don't quite manage to return it.





Then last night went like this:

12.45am: Noises start from the room next door. I groan and I pray hard. But soon he's wide awake and bouncing around in his cot. Not crying tonight so we decide to ignore.


1.30am: He starts to bang on the wall next to our bed (his cot is directly in the other side of the wall...if there was somewhere else in the room to put it, believe me I would put it there). Frustration is at a high. We need some sleep! I give in (again!!!!) and get him a bottle.


5.50am: Noises from next door. I am already resigned to getting up but they miraculously stop and he goes back to sleep. Maybe it's all the praying in the middle of the night. Funny (but not really) how he decides to go back to sleep when I have to get up for work and can't take advantage of it.


6.50am: He's up and bouncing around, full of beans. Wish I could say the same for me and poor hubby.




Whoever thought up the phrase "sleeping like a baby" certainly did not know Benjamin!

Mother's Intuition

I felt really proud of myself yesterday. Probably because I don't give myself enough credit as a mum but anyway...let me explain why I was proud. Benjamin was particularly whiney yesterday. For a spirited baby, it's sometimes hard to distinguish when he's being demanding and strong-willed or when there is something wrong. Thinking he was tired, I tried to put him to sleep. No go. I felt there had to be something more.

Later that day I noticed him scratching his head and whining. A thought occured to me that he may have an ear infection. And then around dinner time when he would just not leave me alone and had to be carried, I texted my husband to come home (he was in a meeting) because we needed to take Benjamin to the doctor: suspected ear infection.

Thing is, Benjamin is such a trouper when it comes to pain. About a month ago he had an ear infection where there was even puss in his ears and he was still bouncing and happy. So there we were last night, sitting at the doctor's rooms with our little boy bouncing around, smiling at the strangers, making them laugh when he pressed his face against the glass, making friends with a little Indian boy. I began to think there was nothing wrong...and I was going to get a "here's one of those psycho mums who bring their child in for every little whine" looks from the doctor.

But yes, you guessed it. Two red, inflamed ears, needing (another!) course of antibiotics. I'm so glad I trusted myself. I have been around this boy pretty constantly for the last 15 months....so it stands to reason that I do know something about him!

Cheers to the grape!

It's been an absolutely crazy month...hence no blog entries. I've been feeling sick, absolutely exhausted, a bit anxious and at times, downright shocked! Yes I am expecting bubba number two. Completely unplanned.So I'm 10 weeks on Tuesday and already showing. Stretched tummy muscles don't seem to hold it in as well! Here's what "the grape" (I'm talking about the size for those who don't get me) looks like at this stage.

The huge challenge is that bubba number one is still as full on and demanding as ever. Eeeek! But I know many mothers have been there before and despite what I feel sometimes, I'm going to be fine. Yes I'm going to be run off my feet and need some help sometimes but that's ok. Benjamin still doesn't sleep that well but I've had to relax about it all. I mean he can't be like this forever. And in every other way he is a healthy, happy, confident little boy....soon to be brother!! Wow.

My husband

My husband is amazing. I love the way I feel safe with him. I am so blessed. And I remind myself of this when I am faced with these.....

Two damp towels strewn on the shoe box

A random jandal in the middle of the room

Clothes on top of the wash basket, not in it. O and another bag of messy papers.

Bag, another damp towel and a slipper

Drawers left open of course

Shorts left right where they were taken off.

Yes I do love him madly! Madly enough to clean this all up.

New tricks

O my goodness - Benjamin's newest trick is pulling on his willy in the bath! Bath time is usually hubby's domain but tonight he was out so I bathed him. He thought it was so funny to pull (or should I say YANK!!!) on his little willy. I cringed. He laughed. Obviously it isn't sore. O well it was bound to happen sometime. I can only imagine how it must be strange to have something hanging in between your legs!



I actually caught it on camera but this arm-in-the-right-place photo will have to do!

All of a sudden

Have you even been doing something for ages and then suddenly you just can't/don't want to do it anymore? It's like all of a sudden you've reached your capacity to keep doing that and somehow your mind rebels against doing it again...even when, in some cases, you know you should. It's like I'm suddenly full.

I don't understand myself in these times but maybe it's a message something in me is trying relay and I need to listen to it. Your body is pretty good at telling you when you need to rest when you're sick for example. So maybe it also lets you know when it's time to stop thinking or acting a certain way.

Gosh, as women we are complex. But I believe that's a good thing. It's the way God made us to be! But it's learning to harness and make sense of this complexity that is the challenging bit. Hopefully I'll figure myself out one day. Until then I'll just look to the One who already has.

I'm a worker!

I find it hard to sit still for any period longer than a few minutes. In my way of thinking, there is always something that needs to be done. And in reality, there is! Washing clothes or dishes, tidying something up, house work, constant supervision of my little man of course, a friend to text, call or email, a husband to help with assignments, work, church and the list goes on and on. But I don't seem to be able to leave things un-done. I NEED to do them. It makes me feel good. Eeek! Am I a bit strange? I really do need to learn to relax.

The family we live with has a little girl who is 3 and a half and one day when as usual I was doing something (cleaning the car in this case) she observed what I was doing, in that cute way that only kids do, said "Penny's a worker!" Too true, well said. That's me!

As hard as it to believe...

Well Benjamin's day time naps have me completely confused and for the very first time in his whole little life...wait for it...he has NO ROUTINE! I've been Mrs Routine from day one. I like knowing where things are at and having structure in my life. That's just me. I like things to run like a well-oiled machine. So it's quite stange that day to day I have no idea when his naps are. 12pm yesterday and today 9.30am...it all depends on how the night went and how he's feeling. I thought he would go into meltdown but actually he's doing just fine. Some days he's up for 6 hours before bedtime and sometimes only 4. I think I'm the one who find it harder!! But as much as I am pro-routine, not having one actually gives me more flexibility in my day.

And by the way, my weekend away was wonderful! It was like being single again. All I had to think about was ME! What do I feel like? What do I want to do? There wasn't that much spare time in between the sessions and speakers (who were amazing!!) but it was enough to appreciate the sense of...dare I say it...freedom. I did miss them both a little...but not too much : )

Bruises and batterings

Not a day goes by that Benjamin does not fall over or hurt himself in some way. He never looks where he's going and just walks expecting the way to be cleared before him! Last week he tripped over my leg (I had the guilts) and banged his head into the corner of the coffee table. Later he added another bruise to the other side of his head when he leaned over too far and hit the table again. And then it looks as if he (or something) scratched his nose. Hmmm his handsome face is not looking so pretty. Take a look...





At least he's still smiling.

Cheers to changes and going away

Benjamin's in that annoying transition stage where he's decided to drop a nap. For the past two mornings he has refused to go to sleep at his normal sleep time of 9am. So in my state of panic this morning, caused by me running late because Benjamin slept in (gasp!), I told the day care lady that I have no idea when he sleeps now (reassuring for them) and to try to put him to sleep around 11am...."because who knows?!" said I. Poor lady. Long and short of it is that he only one nap today. Sniff sniff.

Usually when I get home from work, I put him straight to bed and then have a rest. Today, he was there. The whole time. No more rests!! Sigh. Cheers to new sleep patterns.

I'm going away on a woman's retreat for two whole nights this weekend! Two nights of freedom, relaxation, fun. Two nights away from my darling little boy!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have mixed emotions. Yes I really do need some time out. And yes, I will miss him terribly and think about him most of the time. Am I neurotic? Or just a first-time mum who doesn't realise that her child be absolutely fine and probably not miss me much at all : )

Ta-da (Teddy)

Introducing Benjamin's Teddy....a constant source of comfort and companionship. It even makes him laugh for no reason at all! Ah we all love Teddy. Especially when it helps him to get to sleep.

Treasures

I hope all you moms got a little bit spoiled today. Even if, like me, your little one is a little too little to knows what's going on, I hope you felt special. Because you are.

Due to being on a (very) tight budget, my poor husband didn't have much to work with so I got eggs on toast for breakfast....o and a massage is still to come. So I wasn't feeling too spoilt. Until I got to church. My church has a wonderful way of honouring people and making them feel that they are significant and loved. They arranged for a mobile espresso coffee service to be outside before the service (woohoo!!), at no charge to us, we got a free family photo to pick up after the service and the kids workers even arranged for Benjamin to do a hand print card for me with a photo stuck on. Treasures! Here they are:

Persistence doesn't always pay off

Well, my boy is very persistent. He doesn't easily take no for an answer and recently, has started throwing little tantrums where he stamps his feet, flops onto his bottom and protests in a really loud voice. And then he'll go back to trying to do what he wanted to do .

He also persists when he's trying to do something and is not quite getting it right. He tries again and again and again. There is this park down the road from our house and each time we go there, he heads straight for this huge, red slide. He then climbs onto the bottom of it on his tummy, staggers to his feet (which are now on a slope) and tries to walk UP it. When that doesn't succeed he tries to get up the slide on his hands and knees. And then loses his footing and slides back down on his tummy to the ground. Then he starts again.

The first time we went there, he must have tried to get up this slide about 20 times. I'm not joking. He tried and tried and tried. But sometimes, persistence is NOT all it takes. Sorry Benjamin, my love. It's a good trait to have though. I'm not going to have any trouble motivating him to do things he wants to do and to keep trying when he doesn't get it right. Hmmm that sounds very familiar and close to home.

I didn't manage to get a picture of him on the huge, red slide but at a different park today he tried to do exactly the same thing on an almost-as-big, yellow slide. He really is the best.

Moments of wonderfulness

Side note for fellow word-lovers and grammar and spelling freaks:
I know that ‘wonderfulness’ is NOT a word. It does explain things pretty well, though, so I’m using it anyway. Please excuse me.

Life is filled with moments of wonderfulness. My last blog entry, for example, is positively glowing. Funny how quickly you can begin to feel that things are not going so well anymore. And funny how we base those feelings on one small incident that in the bigger scale of things, is not very important at all! It happens for me in my marriage, in friendships, at church and at home. All of a sudden I feel dissatisfied, disappointed, down and lots more D words that I can’t think of right now.

Let me give a little example: I was loving the way Benjamin was eating the dinners I was cooking for my husband and I and how I didn’t have to make anything separate for him. He was being ‘such a good boy’. He was happily eating the dinners I put before him and seeming to love it. Then a week or so later, he started to turn his nose up and refuse to eat them. I began to get frustrated with him and annoyed at his fussiness. And this frustration overflowed into my days. I found myself getting easily annoyed at him for little things and saying things like “Can’t you just give me break sometimes?” in a loud, angry voice. Poor little boy didn’t have a clue why!

But really, most children don’t like what’s put before them every single night. And isn’t he allowed to have favourites and things he prefers eating over other things? I must remember I’m dealing with a spirited baby as well who has strong preferences and may like one thing one day and another the next (he does this to me often with food!). Benjamin’s also started waking around 5am again. Arggh. But once again I must put things in perspective and appreciate the moments of wonderfulness when they are there. Because there are many of them, everyday, if we’re looking. Cuddles, smiles, bopping to music...and long naps. Ahhhh.

Friends and parties and sleep and....

Well there is so much to tell it's hard to know where to start. We've moved into our new place and are finally settling into the area and getting to know our way around. Benjamin was a nightmare for about a week...but now the change in him is phenomenal! He's got a big brother and sister now...friends! He whines way less. There's more to do and see and people to to play with. He is just so happy.

He's even adopted their cat, Lily, and he follows her around and grabs her - poor thing! This morning he literally threw her off the chair! When I heard that one baby is REALLY hard work then two gets a bit easier and three is even better, I didn't really believe it. But now I see why. There are helpers and entertainers. The baby is never alone and doesn't look to you for everything. Sounds good to me.

We had Benjamin's first birthday party on Easter Monday and it rocked! We had lots set up outside for the young and older kids, including motorbikes, a trampoline, tunnels filled with balls and a little ride on train. We even had some kids having fun in the wheelbarrow! Our friends stayed all afternoon and we all took turns on the bikes - woohooo! My husband's family organised the food and my Mom made the cake - train theme. We were so blessed and have been able to (almost) buy Benjamin a new cot.

We've found a day care for Benjamin which he starts on Wednesday. That, too, is a funny story. It's home-based child-care and the carer is a passionate Christian who believes his spiritual welfare is foremost. Like "O my gosh!" Where do you find that? And she lives just up the road. Thanks God.

And guess what!! Benjamin is now sleeping 11 to 12 solid hours most nights. GASP! FAINT! It just shows that when you are consistent and keep going, no matter how strong-willed your baby is, they will get it. It may take a while, but it's worth it. It's such bliss. Each morning I can't wait to see my little man. I'm so enjoying him. The journey of motherhood definitely gets better and better.

The 'kids' having fun

Independance Day

It happened on Monday. I turned around and Benjamin was gone! I jumped up and with a sigh of relief, saw him toddling happily along the path at the park. He was enjoying his new found freedom completely! I was so glad that he felt safe enough to walk away from me. Sounds a bit strange but he has been so clingy for so many months, needing me in the same room all the time - exhausting!

Now that he's walking I think he's happier than he's ever been. Some of his frustration has been relieved. He can get to where he wants to go! And spend some of his endless energy. I've heard that once they start walking, the real hard work begins. But I've found it to be the opposite. He's happy. He's had his 'Independance Day'!

We are moving out on Saturday. Our Independance Day has come too. We moved into my parents house in September last year wanting a place to bide our time and figure out our next move. Seven months later we are finally set to go. This week I've been trying to enjoy every moment. The house is 3 minutes walk from the beach, has 2 really good cafes (important for me), a video store (important for Tasi) and a great fenced park that has this little red house that keeps Benjamin entertained for ages. What more could you ask for?! Sure we've had our ups and downs as we've adjusted to living under my parents' roof again and the long drive to church and our friends has sometimes frustrated us. But the thing that has been so wonderful for me is having support and being able to share the load.

Benjamin adores his Nana and Grandad. He runs -well toddles fast- to see them whenever they come home and sometimes even prefers his Nanas cuddle to his mum's (how rude!). He wants a piece of everything his Nana does. Even brushing teeth! They are such a big part of his life and I am a little nervous about how he's going to adjust. Suddenly on Saturday night, he's going to find himself in a stange house without his Nana and Grandad and with a whole other set of people (we are house sharing with another young family). I've had so much help with him, whether it's bathing him, picking him up when he cries, playing with him or just staying home so we can go out. We've had it good.

It's time to go though. We're moving into another new chapter in the book of life. And I'm looking forward to it with "adventurous expectation" (Romans 8:15, The Message).